We are always delighted when couples choose to be married at St. Mary’s Barnes and we work very hard to ensure that the service is unforgettable for all the right reasons and the highlight of the wedding day.
Arranging a wedding is a huge practical undertaking and we’ve pulled together all the information you need in the section below.
However it is easy to get lost in the details and forget the importance of the day itself. We encourage all our couples to spend time reflecting on this important change in their lives and planning their future life together and not just the wedding day itself.
Who Can Get Married at St Mary's?
Brides or bridegrooms who live in the parish of St Mary’s Barnes (which is most of SW13).
Anyone who has been baptised and/or confirmed in this parish.
Anyone who has lived in this parish for six months or more at any period during their lives.
Anyone who has attended worship in this parish for at least six months.
People whose parents have lived and worshipped in this parish (must be during the child’s lifetime).
People whose parents or grandparents were married in this church.
What if you have been divorced?
If either (or both) of you have been married before and divorced this is not a barrier to being married in the Anglican Church but it is something that needs to be discussed with the priest who is going to marry you.
Setting the date
Weddings can be arranged on most days Monday – Saturday but before making any arrangements it is very important that you check to see if your preferred date is possible for us at St. Mary’s. After you have filled out a marriage application form and sent it to us we will be able to confirm your eligibility and your booking.
Reading the Banns
To publish your intention to marry, Banns must be called in the Parish Church of the parishes in which both the bride and groom reside. It is a legal requirement for the Banns to be published three times before the wedding. They are read out on three consecutive Sundays during the three months prior to your wedding. If you live outside the parish but are on the electoral roll of this parish because you attend services here, you still need to have your Banns read at your local Parish Church as well as at St. Mary’s. Read more about Banns.
Meeting your priest
When you book the wedding we will arrange for one of the parish clergy to take the service. He/she will see you soon after the booking and on a number of occasions to help you put together your order of service and prepare for the wedding. He/she will take you through the different things you need to think about and ensure that St Mary’s provides the best possible start to your married life. Please take the initiative to contact the priest who is marrying you in the first instance. It is also possible for you to bring in a visiting priest to help with the service. This is strictly at the discretion of the Rector of St Mary’s and the parishes in which both the bride and groom reside.
Preparing for marriage
At St Mary’s we take marriage preparation very seriously in the belief that your wedding is a deeply significant step in your lives. To help you prepare for your marriage, we would like to invite you to take part in a preparation course over two evenings. You will meet with a marriage team couple to discuss a number of matters of interest and concern to you both. It is informal, confidential and enjoyable! For more information contact Jo Carr on 07776 137141 at least 3 months before your wedding.
The wedding service normally has a Bible reading, which is chosen from a wide range of topics such as love, commitment and the best foundations for living. Some deal more specifically with the love of God and the example Jesus gave us. Your Priest will be able to help you decide on a reading that fits in with your wedding. As well as other Bible readings, she or he may be happy for you to include a suitable non-religious reading. Choices have been as diverse as ‘Winnie the Pooh’ and ‘Captain Corelli’.
At a wedding you need to plan for:
- Music while the guests arrive
- Music for The Procession of The Bride – her walk down the aisle at the start of the service
- Music during the service e.g. during the signing of the registers
- Music for The Recession – as you leave the church
Our Director of Music has prepared a great guide to choosing your wedding music to read it click here.
St Mary’s policy is that flowers for weddings are arranged by our team of very creative and experienced flower arrangers. We are afraid that we unable to give access to the church to outside florists. The team can provide dressing of the church entrance and lych gate as well as producing beautiful floral decorations inside the church. To discuss your wedding flowers contact Sue Adams 020 8748 2040
Click here to see our flower arrangement gallery.
At weddings, bells are rung usually at the beginning and end of the service. Please indicate on the booking form if you would like to request the ringing of the bells for your wedding. The arrangement covers ringing for up to 1 hour and 15 minutes after the scheduled start of the ceremony. If the service is expected to be longer than usual and/or if the bells are required to ring beyond the 1 hour and 15 minutes, then the ringers would need to be advised and an increased fee would apply.
Photography is an important feature in your wedding arrangements and it is hoped you will arrange for a photographer who will respect the restrictions for photography in St. Mary’s Barnes. Please ask your photographer to speak to the priest before the service. Video photography is only permitted after consultation, please check with your priest. For legal reasons, the fees of the choir and organist are doubled when a video is taken.
Many couples like to have their own personal order of service sheet printed, although this not essential. If you are planning to do this please consult the priest conducting the wedding before it is printed. Printed example wedding orders of service are available from the Parish Office.
A wedding rehearsal with your priest will be arranged for some point during the week prior to your wedding. The bride, groom, the person giving away the bride, the best man or woman, bridesmaids and pageboys will need to attend your rehearsal. If you are using a personalised order of service, you will need to bring ten copies to the rehearsal.
The official wedding site of the Church of England has an excellent Wedding Planning aid. Confetti.co.uk includes the words and music of the more popular wedding hymns as well as suggestions for readings. The Information and Advice section in weddingguide.co.uk has suggestions for readings and music including clips of the more popular processional music to help you make your choice.
|WEDDING SERVICE (including certificate and reading of the Banns)||£510|
|DIRECTOR OF MUSIC|
Fee for music planning (includes one planning consultation)
(fee applies even if couples' own organist is used)
|Choir (professional quartet)||Price on application. Contact the church office|
|Flowers||Price on application. Contact Sue Adams|
|Voluntary contribution to the Mission and Ministry of St Mary's (we can claim 25% from HMRC)||£330|
|BLESSING OF MARRIAGE|
Voluntary contribution to the Mission & Ministry of St Mary's
(we can claim 25% from HMRC)
|TO CALL BANNS WITHOUT SERVICE||£46|